A guy speeds into the hospital parking lot, sprints past the receptionists and meets the doctor coming out of the operating room, bloody, taking his gloves off.

“Doctor! Doctor! What happened? How is my wife?”

“I’m so sorry, sir. It was a terrible accident. She’s been badly burned, and there was severe brain damage. She may live a long time, but you’ll have to feed her, as she can’t use her hands. You’ll need to help her go to the toilet, and wipe up after her, and bathe her by hand every day. She can still talk, but that’s about it. And there was extensive skin damage, and she’s going to be severly disfigured.

“Also, and I realize this is a bad time to bring it up, but your insurance isn’t going to pay for this. You’re going to have to pay for this visit, and you’ll be paying for medication for her as long as she’s alive, which could be a long time, and she’d going to need a lot of medication. She’ll need constant care. I’m terribly sorry.”

The guy is horrified. He’s shocked again and again through all this. In the end, he can only respond with stunned silence.

Finally, the doctor says, “Aw, man. I’m just fucking with you. She’s dead.”

While visiting India, George Bush is invited to tea with Abdul Kalam. He asks Kalam what his leadership philosophy is. He says that, it is to surround himself with intelligent people.

Bush asks how he knows if they’re intelligent. “I do so by asking them the right questions,” says the Kalam. “Allow me to demonstrate.”

Bush watches as Kalam phones Manmohan Singh and says, “Mr. Prime Minister, please answer this question: your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?”

Manmohan immediately responds, “It’s me, Sir!”

“Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir,” says Kalam.

He hangs up and says, “Did you get that, Mr. Bush?”

Bush nods: “Yes Mr. President. Thanks a lot. I’ll definitely be using that!”

Bush, upon returning to Washington, decides he’d better put the Condoleezza Rice to the test.

Bush summons her to the White House and says, “Condoleezza, I wonder if you can answer a question for me.”

“Why, of course, sir. What’s on your mind?”

Bush poses the question: “Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?”

Rice was puzzled and finally asks, “Can I think about it and get back to you?” Bush agrees, and Rice leaves.

Rice immediately calls a meeting of senior senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally,in desperation, Rice calls Colin Powell and explains the problem. “Mr. Powell, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?” Powell answers immediately, “It’s me, of course.”

Much relieved, Rice rushes back to the White House, finds George Bush, and exclaims, “I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It’s our Colin Powell!”

And Bush replies in disgust, “Wrong, its Manmohan Singh!”